So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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