Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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