it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
