do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
