Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
