Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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