There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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