STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
