i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
