I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
