He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
