I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
