I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
