It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize