I bet he comes in French.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
