Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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