haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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