none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize