I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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