do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
