if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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