I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
