I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
