I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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