Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
