I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
