So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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