it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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