It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
These tits shall not be calmed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
