We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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