No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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