Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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