she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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