I seem to have left my pride at pride
I looked at my own cervix.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
