we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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