I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
