hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
