there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize