Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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