I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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