I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
