Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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