i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
