girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
