ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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