Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
vagina is talking i cant
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
