I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
