This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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