Me. At least after what I've been through.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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