i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
bring money and cleavage
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
