So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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