i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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