Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can I color on your dick again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
