Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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