She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
