So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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