that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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