It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
