Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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